Cough, Sniff, Cough, Shiver.

Drum roll please? Ahem. I have the flu.

I just got through boasting to my mom (who is just getting over said flu) that I never get sick and have the immune system of a rock and what happens? I catch it. My whole body aches and I'm coughing like an old man with emphysema. Thanks mom, love you too.

I've been spending a lot of time online lately, so much that I'm running out of real world experiences to talk about. Unless, you want to hear about the latest drama in the Sci-Fi world. And oh, let me tell you. There's drama.

Hm, okay, I need some socialization. I'm going to locate, scope and track at least one socially proficient person (I go to community college, this may be difficult. They're chalk full 'o crazy here.) and force them to talk to me. Even if it's awkward. More so because then I can learn from their horrified but socially adept reactions. Something needs to intervene quickly before I can't distinguish reality from fantasy anymore, before I start laughing at internet jokes and posting on forums. Before I, myself, turn into HTML code. Ah! It's happening already!

Gasp, gasp, okay, I've worked myself up into a frenzy. My flu-ridden body can't handle it anymore. Time to go pity myself back to health.

I Voted!

Today was a very strange day. I drove like a maniac to school today, (only to go for half an hour, because my mom is sick and I had to take care of her), then went to our local voting precinct. Projections for California: Clinton for the Democrats and McCain for the Republicans. Meh. I'll take it. Something completely amazing, though, is the closeness of this race, especially on the democratic side. My gosh. That old cliché, every vote counts, is actually true this time. Who woulda known?

And the Winner of the Superbowl is...

Talking Stain!

Although the Bridgestone Squirrel and the E-Trade Talking Baby came in a close second and third.

See them all here.

I was among the many who watched the Superbowl only for the commercials. I've tried to get interested in football in the past and almost succeeded before failing miserably. I am happy, however that the Giants won. It's good to have the underdogs win once in a while.

I got this in the mail over the weekend:

Huzzah! I hadn't re-registered since I moved and I was afraid my procrastination was going to keep me from voting but not so! Super Tuesday, hear my roar! This year, seeing that my knowledge of current events comes from the "Most Watched" videos on YouTube, I had to do a bit of research on the important topics. I think I've finally made up my mind on how I'm going to vote. Nope! Not gonna tell!

You Can't Tell, but I'm Drooling

I got up at 5 am this morning. I don't have class until 9 am. It is now 6:40am. I'll spare you the reasons as to why I'm up now but I would like to say this: too freakin' early. The coffee floweth like water.

This weekend, a friend and I went to San Francisco to visit neighbour and her husband. I had never been to their apartment so it was really exciting and fun. We got there Friday afternoon and by Saturday afternoon I had already been accosted by a crazy woman on the MUNI. Finally, I had been christened. Saturday night was the best by far. We went to a girly potluck for neighbour's small group. There was amazing sangria and much hysterical laughter.

Here are some touristy pictures from our little trip:

Going across Golden Gate, the token picture for any San Francisco excursion.
Coming into San Fran which is, incidentally, not that big.
We went to the Farmer's Market on Saturday. It was really fun. This girl is looking at me funnily. I don't know if I like it. Harrumph.
Bay Bridge
Some creepy spider sculpture. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I'm leaning towards no.

Dave

I realized my blog needed something visual to offset all the talking I've been doing, so I decided to post this!


It's Michaelangelo's "David." We did it as one of our final projects in Figure Drawing and then it was in a community art showish, more of a hole in the wall type deal for about a month. I got it back a couple nights ago so, voila! The medium is watercolor pastel and ink. I was playing around with it in Photoshop and I realized that I could make it look so much better if it were darker and was really tempted just to do it. That falls under the "unethical lies" category so I decided against it. I'll just have to do it in real life and re-post.

I did edit it a bit though (see: fig leaf), not because I'm a sissy about manhood, but just because I didn't really want to see Bill and Larry staring at me every time I logged into my blog.

How Low Can You Go?

You know those days you just want to take it low? You know, the days that are kind of melancholy just for the sake of being melancholy and not any other reason at all? Well, today wasn't one of those days but I just listened to "The Funeral" by Band of Horses and it reminded me of those days. Good song, that one. It makes me feel all artsy inside (Digression: I don't like the word, "artsy," I never have and honestly don't know why I use it). Speaking of feeling artsy...

I dropped French and added Clay Sculpture instead. I know, I know, "How could you?!" you ask. "Meh," say I. I figured it was going to require much more effort than I was willing to invest, especially in a class I don't need. Besides, now instead of conjuring an ulcer 4 days a week, I can play with clay and listen to my iPod 2 days a week. Huzzah!

My mom has a friend from England who goes back often to visit family. Well, this morning my mom said she would be okay with me going with her sometime (provided I pay for the ticket) so I was looking up airfare to London just out of curiosity. It's expensive, but that's not the reason I'm talking about this. I started looking up different places in the US and Canada and I got a little bit excited. I just got a flash of what it would be like if I were actually looking up plane tickets to these places. One way. When I'm finally done with school and I've gotten a job somewhere clean and trendy and cute and rainy. When I get there and secure an apartment the first thing I'm going to do is get a dog. One from the animal shelter that needs a good home. Preferably a potty trained one.

Hello, My Name is Ashely, and I'm a Coffoholic

I'm at school early today. Once upon a time the mere thought of getting to school at 7:30am would have made me nauseous but now, I kind of like it. It gives me some time to focus and either work on some homework or say, blog.

I discovered this morning that I've sold another book! Huzzah! Suddenly I have some money but instead of spending it like I usually do, I'm feeling the need to hoard. I used to spend every penny I got (and I literally mean, counting pennies. One time I was searching for change around the vending machine.) on coffee. Now that I'm making my own and bringing it to school, it's like a whole new me has emerged! I'm free! I'm free of the bondage! Well, at least until something happens to keep me from my Daily Dose, then I'm back to square one.

You know when you really love a show and you watch it any chance you get, or even mold your schedule around it so you can be home to watch it? But then, just watching it isn't enough so you look it up online, and then you start to read blogs, and watch extra features and start thinking about attending a convention but because you're too poor you start to read other people's accounts of conventions and suddenly the actors that you once thought were so cool turn out to be real people with real problems and some of them even turn out to be unreasonably finicky or just jerks and then all at once this fog clears and you realize that the whole thing is just a big mess and all of this obsession you've been harboring has just been a royal mistake and it's really not all that cool anymore. You should have just left well enough alone. You wrecked a good thing. Well, maybe not completely wreaked. You still visit the website and you still watch the show and read the blogs, but the whole thing doesn't have that saintly glow anymore. Sigh. You miss that saintly glow.

One Day! One Day I Will Prevail!!

I love animals. They're so cute and fuzzy and they have little faces that look at you in love. [Except cats. I hate cats. To quote a late-night talk show god, Craig Ferguson: "If you die in your home tonight, your cat will eat you."] I want so much to be successful at animal ownership but I seem to have a long string of bad luck with them. I had a pet snake named Speedy. He was a Red-Racer and would wrap himself around my finger and try to stab me with his, incidentally, unpointy tail. He disappeared suddenly one day while in the house. We never did find him.

Then there was Sparky, the Parakeet. He bit. My mom left the door to his cage open and while coming home from school one day, Sparky flew out the door.

Then, Jake. The black lab puppy. He was cute, but we learned a valuable lesson. Never name anything Jake: dog, cat, bird, child. It will turn out badly. Jake knocked me on the ground when I was 5 and wrapped a leash around my neck. Not intentionally, I'm sure...

Coco the bunny. He would huddle up in the corner of his cage, wait until I reached in to feed him then he would attack. Scared the poo out of me every. freakin. time.

Fred and Wilma. The county fair goldfish. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say these were the most successful pets I ever owned (9 months!)...until my mom killed them with too much water cleanser.

Petey/Tuvok the bunny. He growled. I have witnesses.

Archimedes the little black fish. I took such good care of him. He was so cute...until I forgot to put the lid back on his bowl...once. All I can say to this is that his poor broken body flopped on the floor and the image is burned into my memory for all time.

Our latest endeavor: Buddy. Sigh. I have never been so attached to a pet, ever. He was way too energetic for our little apartment and it just wasn't fair to him. We ended up giving him to a family with kids and another dog to keep him company. It was the right decision. Here's a picture for posterity:


I am absolutely determined to have a successful pet. Just once! It's all I ask! I can tell you one thing, the first thing I'm doing when I get my own place is get a dog. He's going to be cute and his name will be...mmm, lemme think about that one for awhile. I'll get back to you.

One last thing: I went to Portrait Drawing tonight and I'm all fired up. There are some good artists in that class and I can feel the heat of competition rising in my brain. Mwwraannggh! (that's my war cry.)

Title? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Title.

I just ate an Odwalla bar that was, incidentally, very good. But it was, disturbingly, green. Bright green.

My mom has been coming home from work the past couple of days with all sorts of healthy foods. Part of me is really happy (the part without taste buds). I can feel the all-natural flavors coursing through my veins. I am Healthnut, hear me roar!

I have discovered in the last 10 minutes that I like Billy Joel. I'm not sure if that makes me hip or lame but it's the truth. I'm listening to the iTunes 30 second preview over and over again because I'm too poor thrifty to actually buy it.

I made my daily cup-o-joe today and was nearly bowled over. My coffee smells good. I always knew this, but actually realized it today. My best friend and enabler gave me some Christmas blend for Christmas and it's absolutely fantastic.

And since my mom just said, "your typing sounds like termites eating my brain," I suppose that will have to be all for tonight.

bonne nuit

P.S. I made some flashcards for my French vocabulary words and now I know why I felt so behind. I hadn't actually looked at the vocab list.*


*Mental note: Be smarter.

Forgive Me But...

I just had to post this:

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Space: the Final Frontier

There is nothing quite as wonderful as classic Star Trek. "Wha?" You may say. "Yes," say I. It's so ridiculous that I just fall in love with it every time I watch it. It's the perfect show to watch on a cloudy day with a cup-a-joe and a comfy couch. All of which I have. All of the science fiction shows these days with their fancy visual effects and their over-paid actors may be "cool" but Star Trek was the pioneer. They started a revolution. They set themselves apart with such wonderful creative ideas like the Tribbles and cutting edge make-up and prop people who created these horned dog-things:

This image property of CBS Studios, Inc.

I think though, above all else, the hyper-practical miniskirt uniforms are what immortalize this show for all time. Who in their right mind designed those things? I'll tell you who, a chauvinistic, narrow-minded meat head [genius] from the 60s. Ah, the good old days, 'twas a simpler time.

My mom came home from work today with a plethora of produce. Look!

[Yawn]

Ah, Friday. Blessed Friday. It's my first day off in 3 whole days. No judging.

I spent the whole day trying to decide what I'm going to do with this lovely Vanna White yarn I got the other day. I feel obligated to add a cheesy grin after this sentence, in honor of Ms White. [You may insert here]. It's green and lovely and fabulous and I can't wait. I ended up with a pattern something like this:


It's a bag that's big enough to fit my laptop or a notebook or something. When I eventually get a new laptop, I'll be able to fit both. Whoopee! I think I might change the diamond pattern to a pyramid 'cause...I donno. 'Cause it's 1:30ish and my brain is sleepy these days.

Speaking of these days, I haven't posted a drawing for awhile. Could be because I haven't made one, but I did doodle a little in between knitting and [Stargate] website loads. So, here, have an unfinished face (with a nose eerily similar to mine...):

Goodnight, or as the French would say, bonne nuit.

zéro, un, deux, trois, quatre...

Tonight, I posted about 12 textbooks on Amazon and within 2 hours sold my first one! Whoopee! Money! (Half of which my mother is taking as commission. She might as well steal my dignity.) I've got the fever. The money fever. I'm trying to think of what else I can sell...more books, DVDs, my bed...if only I had a little brother...

I've continued my obsessive quest to find the perfect knitting pattern and came across this blog. It's people like this who make me ashamed to call myself a knitter. I need more money to support my habit. Better tools, yeah, that'll make me better, yeah.

Shopping list:
1. Knitting magazines
2. Double pointed needles (various sizes)
3. An alpaca (so I can make my own yarn, obviously. I'm unemployed, I have to think economically.)
4. Circular needles (various sizes)
5. Coffee (the nectar that flows through my veins) and/or blood transfusion.
6. Crest Whitestrips

Day Three of New Semester!

Oh dear. I can see that my French class is going to take a whole lot more caffeine than previously thought. I swear I'm missing something. Could it be that my brain isn't a sponge anymore? Has it become hard as a rock? It's possible. This is it, I've entered into the "can't teach an old dog new tricks" years. Dangit...and I always wanted to learn how to play the violin.

Here. Just to prove my dedication to this class let me show you:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. That is "Annie Get Your Gun" with French subtitles. It's a difficult movie under normal circumstances, nearly unbearable with French, but I made it through at least 30 minutes. At least.

The Portrait Drawing class last night has so far lived up to expectations. I'm so excited! I can't wait to get my hands all grimy with charcoal and ink! Whoopee!

I stayed for a long time in my Photoshop class today. I'm really excited about that class, too. It kind of feels wrong, altering photographs to make them look better. Doesn't it seem like it takes a certain amount of skill out of art? I guess it's just skill in a different capacity.

*Digression*: Don't you hate it when people sit in a highly public area (like the cafeteria in which I am sitting) and have angry conversations on the phone? This particular woman is even sitting at a table with someone else whose eyes have long since glossed over. Oh well, none of my bee's wax.

I think I'm going to go get something hot and lovely (like coffee.) The weather is so cold here!!! I want it to snow! Snow snow snow!

Day Two of New Semester

Normally, I’m a nice person. A very nice person. Having worked in the service industry, I have a healthy respect for people who wait on me in various capacities. I always say thank you with a big smile and even, occasionally, let them walk all over me as I stand timidly agreeing, wanting to cause as little trouble as possible. But when it comes to those handling my morning coffee, a completely different person takes over; Ms. Walker and Ms. Wheeler. For the last two semesters more or less the same people have been making my coffee. They know what I want: type of latte, milk, size, shots, temperature, etc. Well let me just tell you, this semester…completely different story. There’s a new girl. She’s slow, rude and complains loudly. She made me late to the second day of classes and I didn’t give her a tip or a smile. Take that newbie. I can only pray that she gets better. Okay, so maybe I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and crack a smile next time. The latte was…pretty good…so she may not be completely hopeless.

My French professor was as entertaining as ever today. She’s still in the over-emphasizing stage and it’s hilarious. Her face contorts in ways I never even thought was possible. We spend more time laughing than actually listening to the sounds she’s making.

I totally forgot how hard languages are. I was in 6^th grade the last time I went through the beginnings of a language and my brain has gotten decidedly stupider since then. That, and Spanish is just easier.

I have one more class tonight: Portrait Drawing! I hope it’s as relaxed as figure drawing was last semester. Other people say they didn’t like the professor I had for that class. True, she had a very different style. She would mostly peruse the room, throwing out criticisms in a thick Korean accent, “Her arm is too short!” “He looks like a monkey. Do you want him to look like a monkey?!” “Too light! Make it daka!” Those other people just can’t handle the truth. Personally, I thrive under the dictator type. It makes me learn so much more than all of the encouragement some professors dish out. You see, when I have approval, I feel satisfied and don’t push myself. But when I have constant criticism, I try that much harder to get the rare approval. I think I may have actually received a few compliments from her, most of the time hidden behind a criticism, but a compliment none-the-less. “It’ssssss….better…” “It’s a good composition but she’s way out of proportion.” I learned more and improved more in her class than any other art class I have ever taken. So this Portrait Drawing class has quite the example to live up to.