Sunday, May 24, 2009

A letter to the ant that just walked across my pillow:

Dear Sir:

Recently, it has come to my attention you and your associates have been displaced and are looking for a new home. While I'm sympathetic to your situation, especially considering current US financial climates, I do not appreciate the random homesteading practices you have employed in my room. Please vacate the premises immediately before I am forced to take drastic measures. Your presence is a violation of human/nature boundaries and is degrading to my mostly clean and crumb-free room.

If you do not take immediate action, I will not hesitate to call in some reinforcements to assist in your eviction.

I would appreciate your cooperation in this matter.