Thoughts and Ruminations

I'm feeling a little frazzled lately. You know the phrase, "when it rains, it pours"? Well. It seems that my financial aid package for either school I applied to isn't enough (by a long shot) so now I'm forced to frantically apply for obscure scholarships and come up with hair-brained ideas for making money on the fly.

Pile a dentist phobia and widsom teeth extraction next month on that and you've got one stressed out Ashely. Although, teeth are paling in comparison to the thought that I'll never make it to animation school. A fear that is quickly taking hold.

I've been so distracted that I grabbed the DVD remote this morning and didn't realize I had it in my hand until I was getting into the car. Then I ran into the door on the way out of the car and realized I had forgotten everything I need for class today.

I have been totally humbled by this whole situation and despite all of these goings on, I have made a decision. You know that Casting Crowns song? The one that says, "I will praise you in this storm"? The rest of that song is good too but that line is really what I keep hearing in my head. I have made a decision that even though this situation feels emotionally hopeless, I will continue to praise God through it. I'm doing it because no matter what happens to me, I know that God has a plan for this. It doesn't mean that I'm going to have the money to go to art school, it doesn't mean that I'm going to be an animator one day, but it means that whatever happens, it will be within God's perfect will. I would rather be there than Sarasota, Florida or Laguna Beach, California.

It doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to go to these places but I will find joy in the Lord no matter where I am. I'm realistic enough to know that I'm not always going to feel like it but it's where my heart needs to be.